Saturday, May 16, 2009

Looking for the Sunshine

Ha! There isn't any. It's that fine spring rain this morning, not wet enough to be inside or carry an umbrella, but wet enough to smell wonderful!

My world is not all right. Not full of sunshine and smiles. But there is a quote that says "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain."

My storms keep coming, so I've become good at dancing in the rain. Today, I went for a walk in the rain - a light, spring rain. I've walked in downpours before, dancing and splashing in puddles. (Kids have a one up on us - it's fun!)

There are moments of sunshine. Good things in the midst of pain.

News that a decision I strongly objected to may be able to be changed - after weeks of thinking it was too late, impossible... after weeks of looking up at God and telling Him that if He made the worlds with His word, He can step in here. (not a family decision, but something else)

My tulips bloomed. I love spring. I love its awakening beauty. I just hate the pollen! But after years of allergy shots, so far I'm doing fine this year. I had to go off all my allergy meds because it was making my heartbeat race, but I'm doing fine.

The birds are singing while I walked this morning.

My kids are more peaceful, and my son is smiling.

My daughter is sweet. She just is. She likes to take care of me, and I find her little touches so special. Sweet.

I went for a long walk this morning in the rain, even ran a little while. Love walking in the rain.

I'm beginning to dance again. The wounds are crusting over, beginning that first stage of healing. They will open up again. We will cycle through again. I don't have the hope of an end to this all, but I have the hope one has when you realize I have survived another round, and I'm still dancing.

It might be raining, but I'll just dance in it anyway.

And enjoy those brief moments of sunshine. Little things like the birds singing and my neighbor's iris's blooming. Worms wiggling on the sidewalk. The wind in my hair.

1 comment:

Karis said...

Keep dancing, dear Ellie. Keep dancing.