Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Good News Bad News

I am slowly getting stronger.  I've had a few treatments and am recovering.  I just have to learn to take it easy.  It is hard to do that, honestly, without feeling guilty.  What wife just sleeps all morning?  A lazy one, that is who.  But I am not lazy - just wiped.

However,  I am managing without an afternoon nap, too.  I feel like a nine month old baby... I think that was about the age mine stopped napping twice in the day! :)

I've been silent on this blog for awhile.  I'm thinking alot about what I will be writing here.  The blog has picked up one or two readers who should not be reading it, and I'm unsure now of whether I will be able to keep posting freely on it or not.  I miss blogging freely, but this has made it awkward.

I've thought of doing a blog with a password - Beautiful Feet does this for some of her blog posts... but I would lose many good readers that I have no problem with them reading my blog.  I just haven't figured it out yet.

Hopefully, I will keep posting soon.... it's been a great community.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Anemia is a lonely disease.

I have enough energy now to manage to get through a percentage of my daily tasks, but none left over.  None left over to visit friends.  None left over to write blogs.  None left over to connect with anyone.  Barely enough left over to say boo to my husband.

Sleep, eat, struggle to manage, and sleep again.

It is one of those things which you don't think of when you think of anemia... the loneliness factor.

Just not enough energy left to feed the soul.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Only on a Sunday - If You Ask.....

..... he will answer.

#3 was at it again this morning.  The pastor was reading from 2 Cor. where it asks, "what does righteousness have in common with lawlessness?.."

I felt a hard poke in the sides.  (At least he poked me and didn't raise his hand this time.)

"I know!  They both end in "-ness"!!"

I really don't think that is what Apostle Paul was meaning to ask.

Later on, the pastor when on to tell about not hitching an ox and a donkey together - not being un-equally yoked.  He simply, in the course of his conversation, said, "If you did yoke a ox and a donkey together, what do you think would happen?"

#3 had the answer for this one.  He not only raised his hand, but shouted out, "OOOHH, I know!!!"

I don't think the pastor was really looking for an answer, but he stopped to ask, "what?"

"They would plow circles because the ox would pull harder!"

You know?  I had never thought of that possibility myself.

He's a funny kid.  Just a funny kid.  But.... he does listen in church.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Rip Van Winkle

Yawn.... good morning.... :)

I am slowly waking up.  I feel like I've been asleep forever.

Oh, I've been up here and there to do a few things, but not much.  This is pretty much what my schedule has looked like the last weeks.

7:00 - the alarm rings.  I decide if I can manage to wake up or not.  Usually not.

7:30 - I have to get up.  I wake kids and get them ready for school.

8:00 - My oldest leaves for the bus.

8:30 - I look at my husband to see if he will drive the kids.  If he won't, I get dressed and drive them to school.

9:00 - Back at home, I survey the mess from breakfast and making lunches and decide to deal with it later.  I head back to bed.

11:30 - Alarm rings again, and I get up to go teach math.  (Kayla is doing so well - today she got a 100% on a test!!!!!)

1:00 - Back home.  I think briefly about what is for dinner and maybe get it soaking/defrosting/started.

2:00 - Wiped out again, so I head to bed.

3:30 - Time to go get the kids.  There is snack, homework, swim lessons, and then my husband comes home usually before dinner is cooked.  I hug him, yawn, and attempt to carry on... but...

7:00 - Back to bed for a "nap" before the evening hits.

10:00 - Wake up to being undressed and tucked in by my husband, smile, yawn, fall back asleep again....

Not that exciting of a schedule.... and before you say, "wow, sounds great, how can I get that?", think about doing that for a few weeks, not just a few days.  BORING!

No, I do not have mono.... been there, done that..

My iron levels are plummeting.  Oh the aggravation of a medical system where individuals have little say.  Despite the fact that I have had this condition for at least 20 years and a specialist figured out how to keep me healthy and has for over 10 years, my lovely doctor here (same one who did nothing for my son's ripped up arm) thinks that we should not do anything yet.  It just isn't his protocol.... the treatment that has kept me healthy for ten years.... it just isn't his protocol.

It just is my life, that is all.

So, I've been spending a lot of my life sleeping.  Battling a mild depression.... one which I know has most of its roots in my physical status, but nevertheless feels quite depressing all the same.

I phoned my doctor back home, got my husband to bring medicine home from his trip, got some supplies from un-named sources here, and with the help of one very nice nurse here treated myself.  It involves hanging an IV of iron, but IVs can be done at home... ok, she made one blooper (she's new at IVs) and ended up with a pool of blood on her dining room table, but it worked.

Today, I am starting to wake up.  I survived yesterday with only one nap.  I survived today with none.  I walked outside and pulled the dead leaves out of my flower garden.  I made some bread.  I made it to bedtime.... even made it awake after the kids went to bed.  Slowly waking up.

We'll try to run some more iron into my system next week, and then see how I am doing after that.  It is more difficult doing it yourself, because I have to judge by feel and not by number, but I know I am way under half of what I should have, so I know I can do three to four treatments before I even have to worry about getting close to normal again.

I am enjoying waking up though.  Enjoying not feeling flat and depressed.  I feel now just bewildered.  A little like Rip Van Winkle.... what all has happened since I was last up?  It seems like so long ago.