Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Rip Van Winkle

Yawn.... good morning.... :)

I am slowly waking up.  I feel like I've been asleep forever.

Oh, I've been up here and there to do a few things, but not much.  This is pretty much what my schedule has looked like the last weeks.

7:00 - the alarm rings.  I decide if I can manage to wake up or not.  Usually not.

7:30 - I have to get up.  I wake kids and get them ready for school.

8:00 - My oldest leaves for the bus.

8:30 - I look at my husband to see if he will drive the kids.  If he won't, I get dressed and drive them to school.

9:00 - Back at home, I survey the mess from breakfast and making lunches and decide to deal with it later.  I head back to bed.

11:30 - Alarm rings again, and I get up to go teach math.  (Kayla is doing so well - today she got a 100% on a test!!!!!)

1:00 - Back home.  I think briefly about what is for dinner and maybe get it soaking/defrosting/started.

2:00 - Wiped out again, so I head to bed.

3:30 - Time to go get the kids.  There is snack, homework, swim lessons, and then my husband comes home usually before dinner is cooked.  I hug him, yawn, and attempt to carry on... but...

7:00 - Back to bed for a "nap" before the evening hits.

10:00 - Wake up to being undressed and tucked in by my husband, smile, yawn, fall back asleep again....

Not that exciting of a schedule.... and before you say, "wow, sounds great, how can I get that?", think about doing that for a few weeks, not just a few days.  BORING!

No, I do not have mono.... been there, done that..

My iron levels are plummeting.  Oh the aggravation of a medical system where individuals have little say.  Despite the fact that I have had this condition for at least 20 years and a specialist figured out how to keep me healthy and has for over 10 years, my lovely doctor here (same one who did nothing for my son's ripped up arm) thinks that we should not do anything yet.  It just isn't his protocol.... the treatment that has kept me healthy for ten years.... it just isn't his protocol.

It just is my life, that is all.

So, I've been spending a lot of my life sleeping.  Battling a mild depression.... one which I know has most of its roots in my physical status, but nevertheless feels quite depressing all the same.

I phoned my doctor back home, got my husband to bring medicine home from his trip, got some supplies from un-named sources here, and with the help of one very nice nurse here treated myself.  It involves hanging an IV of iron, but IVs can be done at home... ok, she made one blooper (she's new at IVs) and ended up with a pool of blood on her dining room table, but it worked.

Today, I am starting to wake up.  I survived yesterday with only one nap.  I survived today with none.  I walked outside and pulled the dead leaves out of my flower garden.  I made some bread.  I made it to bedtime.... even made it awake after the kids went to bed.  Slowly waking up.

We'll try to run some more iron into my system next week, and then see how I am doing after that.  It is more difficult doing it yourself, because I have to judge by feel and not by number, but I know I am way under half of what I should have, so I know I can do three to four treatments before I even have to worry about getting close to normal again.

I am enjoying waking up though.  Enjoying not feeling flat and depressed.  I feel now just bewildered.  A little like Rip Van Winkle.... what all has happened since I was last up?  It seems like so long ago.

1 comment:

Jamie Jo said...

Hoping things are looking up for you soon. At least you are coherent enough to see the cause of the depression. I can't imagine the frustration of having doctors who won't listen to you. Bless you, my friend. I am praying for you today.