Monday, September 23, 2013

I'm Home!

Well, after a very busy, and mostly wonderful, trip, we are home and back into life here.  Busy as all get out, but hoping life will slow down once we have got settled in, got the house back in order, and figured out everyone's schedules.

Since I've been home, I've put up my garden produce, reorganized my storage room, attended a birth (of a blue, still baby... few minutes of heart-stopping silence until they got that little guy to cry... honestly, when you are up rocking a crying baby just wishing they would stop, think of those moms whose babies didn't cry.  It'll give you a whole new perspective on a crying baby.  Crying is wonderful.... :-)

What is the news to report?  Still a little in limbo.  Not sure.  We're facing the slow wheels of our mission trying to do something.  Hoping they make wise and good decisions.  In the meantime, there is good to report....

I have no answers as to why, except that perhaps people are praying, perhaps God is working where we do not see, and perhaps he was just in burnout and had some rest... but what I do know is that my husband has made changes.  We've not seen him angry.  We've seen him involved in and invested in the family - at meals, at devotions, coming home, at his kid's sports events, talking, helping out around the house without being asked.  Basically, participating in the life of the family.

I'm shocked.  Not complaining, no!  But surprised.  I am not asking questions.  If he feels like talking, I am here.  In the meantime, I am trying to go along with, communicate with, and work with him.  Thanking him often, compliments.  Hoping that this sticks.

We've hit some stress this week in the sphere we work in (not in family life), so I am a little aware right now.  Hoping he can weather this without it derailing his peace and in turn derailing improvements at home.

There will be some meetings coming up.  The formal meeting with "Dick" to sit down with him and have him hear what damage he has done, hear a formal rebuke by his leaders for it, and set parameters of where he can be involved in our lives and where he can't.

(I wonder at times if the dealing with Dick played into the peace in our family.  For years my parents have been warning us to get away from this man; that he has some odd reason to be working to destroy our marriage.... now I wonder if they were more right than I gave them credit for.)

There will be some more meetings with counselors, too. I think we are learning to exercise our voice and speak up about what type of counselor we would like to work with.  I just hope they don't mess it up more than they need to.

But besides that, we are home, life is good, we are at peace, and we are hoping that things go on improving.

I know from myself that God works in the heart.  At times on the outside, being people around others, we may not see the changes happening as they do, but God may still be quietly at work.  I will trust Him to work, and I'll try to stay out of His way.  My husband will deal with his heart best with God and perhaps with others (supportive people, not Dick!), and when he is ready, perhaps he will deal with it openly with me. 

I hope to write some more later on.... but I just got in, and dinner needs to be cooked, laundry needs to be washed and ironed, I need to do some more canning so we have fruit later on, and..... you know, if you are a mom, you know... that endless list! :-)