Friday, October 24, 2008

Not Again!

So today. It is the day before tomorrow. Tomorrow my husband arrives in the country. I won't see him that night. I will see him Sunday afternoon. But today is still the day before tomorrow.


Yet today, letters. From the leader who has vision problems. He sees his short term goals. He sees his convenience, and he does not see the whole picture. He has problems believing it. He and my husband have been long term friends. He has believed what my husband said that my past (you know, traumatic MK, family unstable, etc) has warped me so that I am too damaged to be normal.

So today, letters. Deciding that my husband will be pulled from ministry, but not now, later. I need him now. I need him at least until December. Saying he has cleared this with our church leader.

Really? That is not what I was told. I will address this with our church leader tomorrow, you can be sure. This is not what I was told.

Isn't it time to take it seriously? I have been reporting this and begging for help for four years! It is always the same answer. "It is not so bad. We need him."

If you need him, then put the serious work in the situation to get him healthy. Would you drive your car with oil dripping out and the temperature lights on red?

I'm frustrated. How long?

I do still have one option up my sleeve. One more place of appeal. I will make my point tomorrow, and if there is no action, I will move farther up the chain of command. I can go to my home church pastor who knows and will act. He has the power to act above and outside of the control of the mission. He is aware, but right now, defering to their leadership, but he is also frustrated with the leadership's inaction. He sent me a message recently to not be too quick to put him back in the home, but wait for real change and repentance.

Yet, I have been told, that in every division, people will find themselves on one side or another. Few will remain neutral. So, I am expecting the ones who find themselves on the side of the line I am not on. But it hurts. And to see steps again, still again, to pull back from action and to downplay the problem are frustrating.

God, who sees, be my defense.

3 comments:

Alan & Beth McManus said...

May God hold you up in this time. May He be your defender and your rock.

nora said...

"God who sees will be my defense."
Amen, Ellie. I'm praying with you through all of this, I just wish I could give you a hug.

Becky Aguirre said...

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all time, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Ps. 62:5-8...praying for you!