Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In Defense

Ok, I'm really trying not to defend myself, and I am not - well at least not out in public, but there were a few statements in a letter I received from my husband that needed a defense. I've spent years listening to them, but I am ready to stare them in the face and challenge them.

Let's start here:

I don't know if you really understand this but I was probably have been the only person in the whole wide world who tried to love you the way you are.

Really? What are you saying?

That my parents never loved me?
That none of my friends ever loved me?
That my children do not love me?
That my prayer partners and mentors and best friends never loved me?

Is that what you are saying?

Oh, I could begin to mention names here, a long list of people who have proven without a shadow of a doubt, without any return for themselves, without any need to be met that they really love me. They've proven it in their gentleness, in their tenacity, in their insistant refusal to believe less of me, in their determination to hold out hope in my life, and in their restoring my sense of value.

Let me say this very clearly - If what he has been offering is "real love", I want none of it!

I could go on, but I'll resist the temptation. I just want to say loud and clearly - There are people who love me!

I refuse to believe lies anymore. I refuse to be isolated and believe these lies.

There! I said it.

Pray for tomorrow. Today went ok, but tomorrow is a rougher crowd to face.

1 comment:

Becky Aguirre said...

I've been praying, even when I thought of you in the middle of the night...you are right, those are lies and not truth...hang in there!