Monday, November 3, 2008

Hold your Breath and Don't Move - A Quiet Day!

Well, today, up to now, has gone ok so far. Still hoping... well - we did hear that there was another kidnapping, but it was not one of ours, so it doesn't hit quite so close, but we are always aware of our team members who are "in country" right now, and know they are under unbelievable stress.

But, quiet day, busy, but no major incidents. I'll take one of those any day!

Erin - I actually was thinking of a massage the other day. I had one once when we were in Thailand, and oohhh! But tonight, I might try a hot bath without kids asking me questions through the door.

Becky and Beth - ha! My mom taught me early - whether because I had a temper or because she had a lot of housework, I don't know - to find some nasty job that really needs to get done and you hate to do and do that when you are angry instead of beating people up. Yeah, well, my mom had some really clean places in her house! I didn't have much energy today, so I just mopped the floors - it was enough.

That is what I wrote to the pastor's wife later when I wrote her - "I know you did not intend to hurt me, but what I need right now is someone who intends to comfort me." It is at times not enough to have a lack of intent to harm, but we need to intend to comfort. I think it is Isaiah 61 that talks about coming to bind up, comfort, etc. When I work with nursing home patients, I often can not heal, fix, or change anything. But I do have an enormous capacity and opportunity to comfort. There are days I hate my job - but the times when I can bring comfort even for a second or two are worth all the poop I wash up. (sorry, people!)

Yet today did bring good news. My husband phoned and came over this morning to use the vonage phone to do some quick business in regards to another kidnapping - checking in with a few people... Then he stayed and helped get the kids out the door (you have to realize that he has not helped in this task for two years, only criticized my ability to do it.) He asked what he could do, and threw a roast in to slow cook for me. He stopped this morning to say he was sorry for the fight on the weekend with my dad, and said he would talk to him.

He came back in the afternoon because he wanted to talk to me, and again said he was sorry for the way he has been going about things, and said he had a good long talk with my dad and apologized. (This is a man whose apologies in years of marriage I could count on one hand!) We did not get to talk this afternoon.... um, there are four kids running around the house needing to do homework, and there is supper to cook, and things like this....

But he invited me out for supper with him and another couple who are friends of ours tomorrow night. He left early since he didn't sleep last night, and said he wanted me to meet him for lunch tomorrow and he would talk to me then.

So, ladies, keep praying.... it has been a tough month, but I think God is working....I'm just not sure what is with the "kill off a few of my friends along the way" thing, but God is working. And - ya'll should meet me during a normal time - I'm slightly more stable then, and sort of nice. :-) But I'm thankful to have all of you in my life right now.... without you, I'm not sure if I would have been able to keep my head above water at times.

4 comments:

Becky Aguirre said...

I am so glad that there have been some good times in there...you made me laugh there at the end...are we ever normal?! :) But yeah, know what you mean, stressed out and crazy can make us not quite be ourselves...or more ourselves than we care to be? Whichever way it goes! haha Thought about you a lot today and glad to hear how things are going...Becky...

junglewife said...

Thank God for the small blessings! Every little thing counts, right?

I didn't mention this in my last comment, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the way that pastor's wife treated you. It just makes me angry to hear about things like that (I know you don't want my anger, but still... :-) You kind of expect to get hurt by people who just aren't being sensitive, but it seems like it's the most hurtful when it comes from the people who you expect more from - the ones who are supposed to HELP you. Good for you writing to her and telling her how you felt, in a gentle way!

Thanks for your constant updates. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Cindy said...

Ellie...
May you wear your crown with confidence today...
Zeph. 3:17, always has been my favorite, and I am glad that it encouraged you also.
I have been reminded lately that God does work all things out in His time...it is just the waiting part that drives me nuts!!
hugs...

Alan & Beth McManus said...

I get you on the cleaning thing. My kitchen and floors get spotless when I'm angry. Now that I think about it, my floors and kitchen have been pretty filthy for the last couple of months . . . hmm . . . is that good or bad? =)

I continue praying for you and will pray all day today for your meetings/dates with your husband.