Timing

Sometimes it comes down to timing.

Isn't there a time to just not say something? Isn't there ever a time to say, "I could really correct that now, but now just doesn't seem like the best time."?

Apparently not.

Let's list my few weeks....

- dealing with long term anger

- husband asked to move out

- faced stress from all the blow up from the last item

- a team member randomly shot to death

- my brother arrested and facing life in prison

- fall out from the above affects the whole family

- my team leader decided that I was not worth visiting when he came to "support us" through this time

- another friend killed and his family left alone

- my husband angry because Saturday I fed the kids later than normal for breakfast - silent again, not talking and angry

- my dad made a work decision that likely was not the wisest, and my husband is sure that I told him to do it. I didn't, but nothing will convince him - so he is angry again.

This is my last two weeks. I feel like I am going through a tornado. It's getting too wild for a roller-coaster. I'm bruised and battered and limping.

Is there even a time to just not say something?

My pastor's wife caught me after church to complain that my daughter (5) was whispering in church and disturbing people. She went on in great detail to explain that church is a reverent time, and God speaks to people in church, and we should not allow our children to make noise and disturb people.

Thanks. I really needed that today.

I know my daughter was whispering. She was trying to read her Bible, and she is only five, so she quietly sounds out words. I likely should have told her not to read just then. But, it has been a rough week or two for me, and I am struggling to function. Grieving, hurting, trying.

Is there ever a time to say, "hmm... I could let this go this week, and address it next week"?

Apparently not.

Apparently not. I was told that, really, I'm sorry for all that is going on in your life, but that is not my responsibility, and for me not to tell you this this week would not have been loving. Your life is your business, but you shouldn't be upset if I just tell you the truth.

All I had said, was timing. The timing is bad. Can you give me some grace this week?

No. Grace, I was told, is to tell you now so you can fix it.

I'm tired of being told to be perfect.

Going to post a wanted ad:

"Wanted - Someone who wants to love an imperfect person. She will never get everything right, and she may cry and be emotional at awkward times. She won't always have a clean house or perfect meals, and likely will never be exactly on time. She has four kids who are also not perfect and require a lot of time and attention, and she is not perfect at caring for them anyway. She will often forget to smile when she likely should smile, and will forget people's names. She's been known to get upset at being criticized and fiercely defends her own kids. She may improve if carefully loved, but there is no guarantee, and even after months of improvement, will fail and disappoint you. This job comes with little reward and lots of effort. Person answering ad will have to possess patience, kindness, gentleness, a good sense of humor, and an ability to stick with it.