Trust

"Trust", they say

but I can't trust.

not them.  not now

trust us, we haven't gotten to your needs yet

to your hurts

but we know they are there

we will get to them.

but I can not trust.

and that makes them angry.

you have to trust.

but I can not.

Even if you are angry that I am not

I can't.

And your frustration with that does not make it easier for me to do it.

It makes it harder.

I hurt last night.

I cried.

Silently, I sat and I sobbed

for at least half an hour

maybe more

they walked around

whistling

fixing food

discussing daffodils

and spring

and they did not come near me

they did not offer a tissue

they did not make even a quiet noise in the throat that says I see you

they discussed daffodils

Now they say trust.

We care.

They abandoned me in pain

just like the organization we both work for also did

Now they ask for my trust.

I have none to give.

and anger over that will not make it better.

I need more than fancy theories

educated scopes of knowledge

love.

I need to be loved.

Valued.

And they failed at that crucial task.

They left me alone sobbing

while they discussed daffodils.