Facing Pain

Maybe he can't handle it

just yet

the pain of facing what he has done

the scars, the wounds

twisted, infected

the type that cause you to open your mouth in shock

to just be amazed

at not only the damage

but the neglect

not incision lines neatly sewed up

not cuts carefully pulled together and sewed as best as possible

wound left open

that healed by neglect

drying out from the inside

gaping scars

they are hard to look at

perhaps even harder to know you caused.

Maybe he isn't there yet.

Unable to face that.

I can understand that

I don't like it

I think it is unfair that I have to face them

day in, day out

That my whole being, who I am, has changed from these  scars.

Life is unfair.

And you go on.

Perhaps he can't face what he's done yet.

It's unfair.

But if he will walk on a journey to where one day he will face it

That might be ok.

If he says, "That was the past, why think about the past"

There will be no going on to the future

we learn from the past to live in the present so we don't repeat in the future

this is why we study history

battles fought and won

laws and constitutions made

mistakes in peace treaties that caused other wars.

We learn.

There must be a going back to the past.

There has to be.

Or there will be no going forward to the future.

It's not his personality.

He'd rather live today, happy.

But there has to be a going back

perhaps he is not ready to face that today.

Maybe I can be patient.

Alone.

Still.

with these wounds.

No one is willing to look.

  It is so ugly, so frightening

that no one wants to look

to admit to themselves that someone they know and like

could do that.

So alone

again

my wounds dry out

and begin the process of secondary healing

from the bottom up

leaving twisted scars

which will make people hide their faces

when they see me.