Late, late into the night, I fell into a restless slumber. I woke several times to check for messages, and dozed again. The food I had eaten cramped my stomach and I doubled over in pain wishing I had just never eaten.
The night was long and silent. At times a person would skype with me telling me to do this or that or think about this or that. I found myself being asked questions that I had no idea what to do about. Very quickly, I learned to pass decisions on to those in authority over me and work only within what they asked me to do. A crisis demands a clear line of authority and reaction.
I contacted those praying and updated them. I chatted with a friend who kept me sane that first day.
But mostly, I sat watching the night go by.
I finally slept only when the other wife woke up. Passed off the duty to be awake to her, and slept for two hours waking often with stomach pain.
After this, I decided I would not eat again. I drank anything I was given, but I knew better than to eat.
I thought about the next day, realizing that in the morning I would need to tell my kids. That night, I prayed for them... that God would give me wisdom, that they would continue to trust God and find Him good. And I prayed for our men... but that night not with words... with the silence of sitting in front of God with my eyes on Him watching. He knew my heart and I opened it in front of Him. It was a time that words could not have captured.
And in between, I dozed for brief moments. Finally, exhaustion set in around 5am, and I slept for two hours.