Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I Can't Stay Awake Forever - Even when I Want to!

It took longer than I thought it would to finish all these tasks assigned to me.  It seemed that just as I finished one, two more would pop up.  My mind was growing groggy near the end of my fourth night awake.  Then I hit a brick wall - a simple call that should have worked easily ran into a woman who was insistent that she could not do what she easily could, and who spend two hours of my time blandly lecturing me on what to do "next time" so we won't have this problem.  I tried, oh, I tried to be polite.  Finally, I lost it and told her, "Listen lady, at this point, I don't KNOW if there will be a next time!  I am trying to survive THIS time, but if we make it through this time, I promise you I will listen to all your advice on how to avoid this situation, but now we are IN this situation, and I need you to stop lecturing and work with me here!"  I am sure she was simply working off a prepared script, but over the last several days, I had met many people (including myself!) who were not prepared for this situation, but managed to THINK in the middle of it all!  This lady was about all I could handle.

After I finished with her, I continued to work on another task... plodding through until around five am, I could not manage to move the mouse in any semblance of control... if I was driving, I would have looked intoxicated.... I was just reaching the end of my physical capabilities.  I set the computer to the side, and lay down in tears... wanting to finish that task... knowing that everything left undone left potential for more troubles for others... but oh, so tired!

And morning "over there" had come and gone....

no news...

my heart began to beat with that familiar thudding of impending doom and tears fell, but I was simply too tired to even be able to cry.  I shot off a quick e-mail to the friend who was on the scene first when I got the call and asked her to head over at 7am and take care of getting my kids ready for school.  I was crashing and crashing hard..

then I slept.

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