Friday, April 30, 2010

A Crazy Morning!

I woke up three hours later to the smell of eggs frying.  I had slept solid for three hours!  This was my fifth night to be awake from this crisis, and how wonderful three hours of sleep felt!

I sat in bed and checked for messages.  I had an e-mail from my husband with more news.  I also could just pick up the phone and hear his voice!  That made it a good morning - even if things were still tense.  But I was upset when I woke up that they were not already out.  They were waiting for someone to do one thing.  Frustration would sum up how I felt at this point... just frustration!  I wanted it to be over.  I wanted to be able to take a deep breath and blow it all the way out, not holding a little worry back.

I lay in bed, skyping with my husband and updating a few people who had sent questions, and my door opened.  In came my friend bringing me breakfast in bed!  Wow! To be so spoiled!  Hot tea, scrambled eggs done just right and a piece of bread.  I ate, and got up to help get the kids ready.  Another friend of mine was making lunches for my kids for the whole week so I would not have to worry about that one thing.  It was these little gifts that made life much easier for us.  Another friend had brought piled of snack, all individually wrapped so there would be after school treats all ready for the kids.  All these details cared for - such blessings.

From the very first day that I had told the kids the awful news, I had prepared them for what might happen when their daddy came back.  I had told them that when daddy came out, he may have to go somewhere for a few days first to get better, and that we would be able to talk to him, but not see him for a few days, and after that he would come home.  I had reminded them of that the day before.  Today, I broke the news to my kids that I would be leaving to meet daddy, and they would stay here and grandma would come.  There were tears, questions, and some understanding.  For kids who had just gone through seeing daddy leave and then not knowing if he was coming back, letting their mommy get on a plane was rough.  They could mentally understand that I was going to a safe country, not to that place "over there", but emotionally it was difficult.  I began to second guess my decision, but knew I also needed to go.

I took them to school that day, spent time dropping them off, and talking with them.  I promised to come and say goodbye before I left.  They were slowly beginning to be excited about seeing grandma and talk of all the things they could bake with her and how they could do special things to prepare for daddy coming home.

My friend had stayed at home to listen to the phones and tell me the second anything happened.  The phone call came in while I was gone that they were headed to the airport to leave.  When I got home, we both sat waiting by the phone to hear that they arrived safely.  Holding our breath.  Then came the call - safely through, waiting to board.  We began again to smile, and my friend worked on laundry.

Another friend stopped by with someone to talk to me, and another friend came over to see how she could help.  I looked at her and said, "umm... I've been living in my room for five days, and it is a disaster.  I don't even know what is in there, but my mom is arriving today.  Do you think you could get that room ready for her?"  She agreed and promised never to speak about the mess or what she found!

I sat down to talk with the person who came to talk.  He would be meeting with my kids while I was gone and checking that they were handling this well emotionally.  I discussed my different kids and how they deal with life.  We drank more tea and cookies and talked while two people worked in circles around me.  I still had not packed my things, only stuff for my husband, and it was getting closer and closer to time to leave for the airport.  The friend who had been there the night took over that, and began packing what she thought I would need.  This caused a smile later when I found carefully packed in my bag my umm.. "pretty" pair of underwear.  I pulled them out and looked at them slightly embarrassed that they had even been in the laundry where these two ladies had seen them, but she just said, "I figured you'd need those!"

All this time, we waited and waited.  There was a delay at the airport.  All this time, and another delay!  I was so tired of waiting... tense waiting...  Finally, finally, came the call - "In the plane!"  Finally!  Happy tears... again.

But there was only a few minutes.  The friend that would take me to the airport, quickly ran the visitor home and was coming back to take me to the airport.  I hurriedly check my bag and grabbed my toothbrush and medicine.  We sat down for a quick lunch, and I ate while making calls to everyone - they are on the plane!  They are really coming home!  There wasn't even enough time to finish the calls or instructions.  Grabbing my bags and a sandwich, we headed out.  I stopped to hug my two friends who were going to stay and finish getting everything cleaned up and ready for my mom.  One of them would take my kids home with her and keep them until grandma arrived.  So I left.

We stopped at the school to quickly hug the kids.  They clung to me and cried - they wanted their daddy right away!  But they let me go, and I promised to skype them with video as soon as we arrived to they could see and talk to their daddy as long as they wanted.  But I cried leaving them... wishing I could be in two places at once...

Then we drove to the airport.

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