Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A Week and a Half

Remember the one word I repeated a week ago that threw my husband into a tailspin?

It was a simple, "huh? Can you slow down?" type of repeating. He was explaining something at high speed which he had thought out well, but had not yet communicated with me, and he was going too fast for my busy brain to catch up.

But he was sure that I repeated the word to totally mock him.

I explained right then what I meant, apologized if he felt hurt, and explained. But he is convinced and he is angry.

I let it go, hoping it would simmer down. It didn't. It's been a week and a half.

Yesterday, we had our weekly meeting with the pastor (last week was off), and we were asked how things were going. I brought this topic up. Explained what happened, that he thought that, and was understandably upset, and that I explained this what I was thinking... I just hadn't caught up yet...

The pastor tried to discuss it, but he wouldn't. He's convinced that am lying, that he is right, and he is angry.

And now I even told the pastor, so he is more angry. And he is punishing me for it.

It is now a week and a half, and getting worse, not better.

Pray for strength. I'm tired. I'm tired of facing this type of treatment. It's been a tiring week, and I've tried to stay above it and stay peaceful and calm, but now he is even more angry because I told the pastor. And now he has switched from silent anger to revengeful anger and he is trying to hurt me.

I'm tired of it. And I really don't know what to do here.

4 comments:

junglewife said...

Oh Ellie, I can't imagine how frusrating and tiring this must be for you! When it's ongoing, you find ways to cope but then when things have gotten better and then go back again, it must be even more frustrating. Just know that when you post, you are not alone! You have a community here to support you and lift you up. Thank you for your honesty with us. May God give you strength and continue His work in your hubby's heart.

Ellie said...

Thanks for praying. Amazingly, he came home this evening, and aplogized. Whew!

I'm glad he is recovering so quick - yes, I cringe at a week and a half, but a few months ago, it would have been a month and a half. But it is still hard to face, and I am hoping for change to work deep, and this to stop happening.

But the effects are tough. He is right now putting in the floor in the bedroom we just finished. He just let out a loud expression of frustration. (The stuff keeps breaking.) My daughter came out of her bedroom worried, "Mom, what is Daddy angry about this time?"

That is when it hurts.

Yes, this time was comical - Daddy is upset at a board - but it hurts. I want to see the damage to their little hearts have time to heal.

Becky Aguirre said...

Sorry, am reading this late...am WAY behind! But praise the Lord! Even though it took a week and a half, the apology did come! And like you said, stepping back and looking at the big picture, the time it took is shortening, I see that as very encouraging...yes, it's rough in the meantime, but seeing it from this perspective, it's progress! We went through a similar process in our marriage as well, and praise God, we continue to grow. Still have issues, of course, but the growth and maturity is there if I look for it. :)

I would encourage you to continue giving this to our Lord...you are not responsible for your husband's behavior, that is between him and the Lord...as much as it hurts you and the family in the meantime. God will continue to work in his life and use you and the family to encourage him to grow in these areas. And yes, the kids are being exposed to hurtful things, and yet God is mighty help regain the time that is "lost" and reparent where necessary.

Karis said...

I'm reading this late too. I don't know how to spell it but as they say here, "Asha." It's has a much deeper meaning than "I'm sorry" to hear of this difficult time but along those lines. I'm glad to hear you have come through the apology time.