If I Had to Do It All Over Again

If I had to do it all over again....

I would chose to love... even if I knew I would be hurt...

                                                                                       because love is worth it.

I would chose to hope.... even if I knew I would be disappointed...

                                                                             because hope is beautiful.

I would chose to care deeply... even if I knew it would bring pain...

                                                                        because I have been cared for.

I would chose to give.... even if I knew I would not be given to...

                                  because giving is more wonderful than receiving.

Trust is not the absence of the possibility of pain, but the firm knowledge that God is with you in pain and will not leave you alone in it.

This is the conclusion I came to Sunday after spending some time quietly with God.  When He asked me, "What would you have done if you could chose to do it all over again?  Would you have chosen to be open even knowing you would get hurt?  Was the good worth the risk?"

And it was.  Even though pain hurts.

Because the pain of living behind walls hurts, too.

So, if I had to do it all over again, I would chose to love.  Even in the face of certain hurt.

I do have to do it all over again... each time I meet a friend, I have that choice.  Will I be open and love fully and risk hurt, or will I protect myself?

I hope I would chose to love.  Again.  Even knowing that love will mean hurt.  I hurt people I love.  They hurt me.  The real questions are "Is it worth it?" and "Are we safe enough in God to risk hurt?"

I hope I am moving in that direction.  Doubt I am there yet, but I keep heading that way.