Why Now?

I wish my husband was home.  Why do these thing happen while he is gone?  I need his bulk right now - to lean against, to rest on, to share with.

Right now I don't know very much.  What I do know is not easy to carry.  As I look for answers to some of my questions, the answers are there staring at me.  They've always been there... we just never knew the questions to ask.  We just never thought to ask.

One of my kids, #3, the too talkative,  cheerful, little guy is having some health issues.  Something we thought was nothing... but that we should get checked.  That nothing may not be nothing... and the farther we dig into our family history to answer the questions the doctor has, the more the nothing looks like something.

The problem is that if #3 has it, then #1 probably has it too.  Likely I do also.  We just never pieced it together.  We still have testing ahead of us, lots of testing.  We won't have any answers until then.

Right now.... I just want my husband to be home.  To face these things with me.