I'm going there today. Actually, I'm sitting here this morning only a short distance from this place. My husband and I prayed together this morning, right now we have some business from what brought us here, and then we will go there today.
I was expecting to go there on Monday when we had time off, but the schedules change - as schedules so often do - and we are going there today. I'm doing ok, sort of a settled peace. A little tense awareness, but a settled peace. I feel that God has brought me full circle again, to close up this chapter. And as I sit here this morning waiting to go there, I am at peace. I see what God has brought in my life - yes, even through this - and I am content. Content to rest in His arms, knowing that even the pain He brought me through is only temporary and that He is and will use it for His glory. Like Joseph. I think that is the ultimate defeat of the destroyer: "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good." You may have thrown your best at me to warp and detroy me, but God did not only save me through it - He is using that very pain you inflicted to reach out to snatch others from your grasp. You DID NOT WIN!
So, I'm resting comfortably in the arms of the One who held me through all this. And I'm grateful for all of you who are praying around this big world for me. Ah, the stories we will all get to tell when we are all together in the end! When we see what God has done.
Until then, I'm resting. Calmly waiting to face this and be brought full circle again. To stand there with my husband and to be able to say who I am. I am a daughter of the King. He delights in me and sings over me in love. That is who I am. And I am resting in His arms, trusting even though He let me go through some awful things.
.... if I remember correctly, He went through some pretty awful things for me...