I like this green better. It's a little bit calmer.
Oh, I had to be part of a team interviewing someone last night.... ok, I'll admit it. I like grammar. There. It's off my chest. This man was sitting there telling me he is strong in English and writing, and I was staring at his letter of introduction and statement of faith and trying, trying so hard to resist putting in commas where he needed them!
So, maybe our team leader is not too far off. I don't think I have a contrary spirit, but perhaps a constructively critical one? :-) I just like grammar and commas.
So, on the more serious side... My husband did come and apologize to his two oldest boys yesterday and that was good. He also apologized to me for the month of silence. That was ok, good even. But not a word about the words in that month that were not silent. The hurtful ones. And the apology was not, like with the boys, followed with a "I love you". So I asked, "Do you love me?" and got this unencouraging answer, "I don't know. It is hard."
I guess... there is a point where my truth-loving side of me says that was a good answer. Truthful. Open. But another side of me screams, "What do you mean you don't know??!!" But, honestly, that is probably how I feel right now, too. I do. I know I do because I have to. Yet how I feel may be very different right now.
But it is step one. All great distances are covered by beginning with one step, so we will accept and appreciate the step of yesterday.
Today's step? Well, - go cover your kid's eyes - I kissed him goodbye when he left. That is all. A small step. So that is two steps now....
Then today also contained an encouraging conversation with a friend. I like encouragement. So I am relatively happy - also because I cleaned my house. I like clean houses, too. Just not my favorite thing to do!