Thursday, January 24, 2013

Dead Silence

A week or so ticks on, and silence.  I sit and wonder... was this a one-time wonder, a flash in the pan, a reaction to an action, but one that fizzled out.  Is the will to act there, or was it simply another act of "out of sight, out of mind"?

I don't know.  I've heard nothing else.

Nothing changes.  Life goes on day after day.

I realize that things take time to plan, but I've seen it so many times before where they say they will, and they don't, that I am not convinced that this is much different. I hope it is, but I am not counting on it at this point.

My husband lost his keys a few days ago.  He asked, accused, and blamed others. Said he will lock his keys up, etc, etc, etc.  It was likely him that lost them, but he couldn't see that.  Then, the keys were found.  It only took about fifteen minutes, maybe less.  But he was still upset and irritated, and made several cutting remarks.

I drove only my youngest son to school that day as my daughter was sick.  He looked at me in the car and said, "Daddy is just like that.  If there is a problem and he gets upset, even if the problem is solved, he can't calm himself down."

The wisdom of small children!  #3 sees with clarity and is able to pinpoint the problem well.  Hopefully, he can also shield himself from some of the pain that way, by seeing clearly - that this is not his fault, that this is not anything to do with him.  It is just that, "if Daddy gets upset, he can't calm himself down".  So he does things that are not kind.  It is not acceptable, no, but perhaps he can see not to take it personally.

Meanwhile, we wait to see if this is something where people meant what they said and plan to act or if our pain just gets swept under the carpet again, because, after all, he is just such a good missionary....

(I wonder if #3 could identify that issue so easily since he is a ADHD child - bright as a button, obedient, wonderful, but just ADHD.  His brain lacks the ability to tell himself to slow down and focus on one thing.  He knows what it is like not to be able to calm his body down easily.  He is learning techniques and is doing well, and I have complete confidence in him, but he knows he has to work against a handicap.)

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