Friday, March 19, 2010

TheThings We Pray For

My toilet is clogged today.  (Sorry for all of you who really did not want to know that!)  My kids are gone, my husband is gone, and the plunger is in the basement.  I don't want to go get it.  Besides, I hate plunging toilets!

So I prayed.  Maybe it is just a prayer of sheer laziness.  But see, I fully know that God is capable of unclogging toilets.  I know He also loves me with delight.  So I pray that God will just declog it if I flush it two or three times.  And I expect Him to answer.  Confident that my Father knows I don't want to go down to the dark basement to find the plunger and do the job, I rest in His toilet unclogging ability.

I'm facing a much bigger crisis today.  A 8.2 on the Richter scale of crises.  The day has seen me alternatively pacing, sitting, staring off into space, crying, waiting.  I cry out to God to catch me, to help me trust, to hold me through this.  I'm scared to pray.  I pray furiously.  But I am afraid to ask, to demand what I want - the balance between wanting what I want and being willing to follow where God leads... not sure where that balance is today, but not perturbed by not finding it.  I know God is not up there judging my reaction to today's events ready to give me a score sheet of faith.  He's here, holding me through it all - even when I can't sense Him.

And then I pray confidently over my toilet!

I shook my head while I watched the water swirl and eventually go down - no plunger needed.  Shook it laughing at my faith which today is strong enough, not to move mountains, but to unclog toilets.  Smiled at that answer, and turned my face up to God in this crisis - please answer here, too!

So I wait.  And trust.  And even when I can't trust right now, that's ok - it doesn't change God.  He still unclogs toilets and does the impossible.

And He is with me wherever He asks me to walk.

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