Today began so well and disintegrated from there. Possibly the result of lots of tiny things that piled up.
Tiny hurt feelings nursed grew big.
Tiny slights taken personally clouded views.
Tiny opinions which became heated attacks.
Tiny glitches that got thrown in other's faces.
It is a big knot now. We're in the middle of it (thankfully not the "nursers" or "holders" of the grudges this time, although that has been me at times!). We're responsible for untying the knot, healing what can be healed, and insisting on what needs to be done. It's a big responsibility. It's an added headache in a busy time already.
(Did I mention that I am trying to get ready for a trip? Yeah, going on a "work trip" for three weeks... haven't done this before so it will be interesting... I have to do research on something that I have never done research for. I have to teach something I have never done to people who do it very differently than me. I have to learn from very experienced people who will see me as a very un-experienced person. I have to leave my husband home with four kids on his own. I'm nervous.)
I think a problem with working with people on more creative realms is that there is so much subjective. Math and science is so much easier. No matter how much you don't like me, seven times seven is still forty-nine. So we just deal with facts. But creative outlets are so subjective. Different people like different things.
Today one person stepped over the line in expressing their opinion of another's work. Sparks flew.
We need to sort this out. Sort out the feelings behind the sparks. Some is perhaps my fault - I asked an inexperienced person to do what an experinced person would have normally done. I did it intentionally. I wanted a fresh take on this one, some new feel to the thing. I explained that to the experienced one. Of course she has more experience but we want to train this new one, and it would be good to have someone new in this task.
But I likely offended. And, you know what? I don't think we are going to back down on it. My reasons stand the same, and I think that we need to not back down to emotional blackmail.
The problem is that it is others who will likely suffer if we don't back down. Our two newest members will "get it" as my kids would say from the more experienced ones. So pray for them. We'll back them up and support them, but we'll not give in to this fighting for "seniority" and prestige.
Funny thing - I'm going through some of the same things with my boys. The jockeying for position. We won't give in there either.
Keep us in your prayers. Tomorrow could be a tough one!