Why I Had So Many Kids

I was at work last night and took care of a dear old lady.  She talks non-stop.  It is irritating.  Sometimes we have had all we can take and try to ask her to be quiet.

She is only too happy to comply, "Of course.  I can be quiet.  If I know you want me to be quiet, I will not talk.  I can do that.  All you have to do is tell me and I will stop talking.  There is no problem with that.  If you ask me not to talk, I will be quiet.  I can not talk.  I would not want to talk when you ask me to be quiet.  All you have to do is ask me, and I will be quiet....."

Last night, I heard yelling and went to investigate.  She was shaking the bed and yelling, so I asked what was wrong.  She looked at me blankly and said, "I have no idea."

Ok.  Why are you yelling?

"I need to use the bathroom.  I don't know why I need to use the bathroom.  Usually I do not have to use the bathroom, but right now I have to use the bathroom.  I wonder why?"

Maybe it is because you drank that coffee with your family when they visited.

"I don't know.  Would that do it?  But I wonder why?  I don't have any pain, but I have to use the bathroom.  There must be something wrong.  Oh, I wonder what could be wrong!"

I decided I had better distract her, so I asked about her family.  She had been the oldest, so I asked how many kids her mom had.

"Well, there were the four boys, and there were three of us girls."

So seven.  I guess you did a lot of helping.

"Yes, I always was working."

So I asked her how many kids she had.

She looked at me blankly. "Oh, I don't know.  More than the usual amount, I think.  I just don't know.  I mean, how would one figure that out?  I am not sure how many there were, but there were a lot of them running around."

Thankfully, I got her settled back into bed before I started giggling with thoughts of the old woman and the shoe filling my head.

Tomorrow, I have to cook for a family in our church who just had a baby.  #2 was asking me why I cooked for them.  I explained that having a baby is tiring, so that we all cook meals for them to give them a little break in the beginning.

Comprehension dawned on his face and he said, "Ahh... now I know why you had so many kids; you wanted the break!"

yup, that's it.