Monday, November 23, 2009

Rumors in the Wind

They are there again.  Those little rumors.  We've heard them before.  Lived with them swirling around us.

I don't like those rumors.  They leave me very unsettled.  Last time, they got so bad that I asked our director to stop talking about it.  I mean, he left me not knowing whether I should paint the walls and hang up pictures or begin to put things in boxes.  When a friend came, I didn't know whether to ask her to bring stuff with her or take stuff back for me.  Those awful rumors.

I think I dislike moving less than I dislike the rumors.  The unsettledness long before a move comes.

I have no idea if we are moving any time soon.  We may.  We may not.  We could still be here for another five years.  But... as I look at that number - 5 - I think... that is what we had talked about when we came here.  Hmm.....

I have no idea if we are moving.  Honestly, I am not jumping at the chance.  I've begun to be settled here.  Found good friends.  Connected.  It isn't home, but it's beginning to feel like it.

I have no idea if we are moving.  I can't see it happening any time soon, but then again, I've been there before in my life and it happened.

Right now, it is only rumors floating on the wind.  Last time the air was filled with rumors, every visit brought a change.  "Yes, you are."  "No, you definitly are not."  "I think you are." "No, no way we will move you."  I finaly decided to paint my kids room.  I did not just paint it - I painted a huge mural on all four walls of their room.  The very next month, we got the decision and we packed our bags.

I have pictures stacked against the wall in my bedroom.  Waiting to be hung.  Now rumors again float on the wind and I am afraid to hang them.  I don't want to take them right back down again.


Karis said...

For me too -- uncertainty is way harder than knowing what the change is (even if I'm not thrilled about the change) and working through that transition.


Becky Aguirre said...

Lovely. I am going on my second year in one place after about 15 moves in 2 years and I could get used to this! It's hard to live with uncertainty and I hope some things get defined for you soon. Makes me look forward all the more to my mansion in the sky!

Cindy said...

I have pictures stacked, too.
I might just drape them with a cloth and put a plant on them :)