Friday, February 6, 2009

Something to Pray About

Hmm... in the five minutes I have before school, if I want to shower... without saying anything wrong about people... I'd like to ask for some prayer..

It is a long story, and one day I would love to be able to carefully write it out, but that might not be now...

For now - my husband said he would go somewhere for a course. I'd like him to go.

Separate and unrelated to that, I was upset last night and told him one member of our team, such as one in authority over us, is hard for me to cope with because he thinks I have something "psychologically wrong" with me. He thinks it is either a result of my past history of abuse or an inherited thing from my family. (Case in point - my dad is annoying, and my brother is in prison = something wrong with the whole family, right?) And - this person is the one who will initially edit the lessons that I am writing - for women.

It is difficult for me to deal unemotionally at times with this person - who is also my husband's close friend. On the basis of that, I would love to have a decent relationship with this man and his wife.

Hard to do though when I know he thinks I am weird, damaged, mentally ill, making it all up for attention.

There is so much more I could say. I don't really blame this guy - he is only ignorant, unaware, surprised even that abuse happens, just oblivious. Grew up in a very sheltered environment, really intelligent in some areas, highly intellegent - but lacking in others. Just like most of us.

Anyway, since I told my husband, now he wants to not go. Why? I don't get it. It is not a new crisis that he needs to sit here and hold my hand. This man has thought this for three years. It hurts, true. But go on with life anyway.

But to pray - pray that he goes. I would feel horrible if he didn't because of me. Not my intention. I just wanted to share how I felt.

And pray for me - with turning in the ten lessons I am almost done, I have to work closely with this person for a time doing edits and other things. You are women, so I don't have to explain how that feels. :)

Life. I long for the day when all things are open and put in the light, and that light covered in perfect love. Accusations silenced, misunderstandings cleared, and sin gone!


Missionaries in La Ceiba, Honduras said...

Hey girl! Send this person a link to: Darkness to Light: maybe he will get a clue.

Becky Aguirre said...

I will be praying for this the end,it will be his decision whether to go or is touching to me that he wants to protect you, even if it comes out in "funny" ways. :) Don't think I'd want to work under those conditions, either, but praying that our Father will give you the grace...and that He will handle your 'reputation' on your behalf. Love, Becky

Sharon said...

Ellie, This is a tough situation. Often women cause our husbands to react in ways we never intended just because we talk too much or let our emotions rule our tongues. I'm not preaching at you, I have to watch this too. However, since he is a friend of your husbands I think your husband should know how this man has treated you. I do agree with Becky, we do need to listen to our husbands and trust that they are being led by God to do what's best for us.
I do love your blog because you are so real. P.S. Thanks for the comment on my grandbaby. I'm turning into my mom, wanting to show his pictures off to anyone who will look.