Then I found this. I must have written it four years ago when I had run into bedbugs and was miserable. I read it today and laughed.
Bedbugs believe in community. They eat in groups. Scattered bites do not make as much of an impact as clusters of bites.
Bedbugs believe in traveling teams. They bite on the go in some areas leaving a clear line of bites behind them on the trail.
Bedbugs believe in seizing the moment. They do not wait until they are in a strategic location. They begin to bite wherever they first contact and bite as if that moment may be their last opportunity.
Bedbugs believe in active pursuit of opportunities. They do not wait to be invited. They take the initiative against opposition. Some people may never be bitten at all if they waited for an invitation.
Bedbugs believe in working undercover. They do not make their presence obvious. They effectively hide in a ready location. They are even careful to inject and analgesic so that the bitten do not know they are being bitten until it is too late.
Bedbugs are not discouraged by their small size. They believe in small things having great impact. Despite their small size, they ensure that their bites will be long-lasting and make their presence known long after they themselves may be kicked out.