Stuck

I hate that feeling - being stuck.  Due date for a newsletter hanging over me for weeks... even months over due, but stuck.  Nothing to say.  Oh, there are things to say, but we're not even sure we can say the things that there are to say.  And then so much of my life is very, very repetitious, monotonous.  Boring.

What to write about?  Do I write about how we honestly feel right now - battered about, watching pain happen, struggling?  People in our churches already wonder if we are chasing a hopeless task....  what will they say if I say we are struggling, discouraged, saddened?

But we are not discouraged, not exactly.  We are - the situation is difficult and this year our friends are suffering.  But we aren't discouraged- we are seeing people standing against persecution... difficult things are happening, but people are still standing.  That brings enormous joy... along with the tears as we watch.

But can we share all that?  What can be said?  Difficult questions to answer.  There is a lot to think about before we share much of anything.

So what do I write?

I sat there for weeks.... letter way over due... too much on my heart to write... questions about what could or could not be said...

Then there was no more delaying.  I prayed desperately, and combined all the little beginnings I had made over weeks.  It got done.  Now I have also organized my inbox, done all my address changes, and filed all my letters.  I responded to all the people who needed letters.

Aahhh... time to have a cup of hot chocolate and relax... nice not to have it hanging over me.

just don't tell me the Christmas letter is due soon....