Monday, December 16, 2013

A Season of Deaths...

Wow... that sent me for a loop.  I am sort of used to death working with the elderly, but not for this.  This last month, I think I have been to five funerals, and then there was the one I couldn't go to, but still occurred bringing to six the total deaths in our extended friend circles.  A little overwhelming, and that is not even counting my two deaths at the old people's home during that time!

Just when I thought there couldn't be any more calls saying someone had passed away, I got a call... a friend was in an accident.  She's ok, and she is going to live and keep all extremities, but it was dicey there for awhile, and I ended up living in the hospital for a week on my week off caring for her.

Busy...  busy...

no time to get back to my blog, which I accidentally deleted all my images from... sigh.. one day, I will fix it, but that day is not today.

Yet in the middle of it all, I have enjoyed the time to connect with people on a deeper level, to see needs and meet them.  Having lived through pain, I have some understanding what it is like, and what is needed.  Remembering during a crisis knowing that I needed to eat, but unable to even comprehend how to open soup or put butter on bread helped me know how to help my friend by sitting her down and making her food and handing it to her.  Knowing what it is like to be suddenly hospitalized helped me know that I should appear with a clean toothbrush, toothpaste, pair of pjs, slippers, deodorant, and some knitting to sit quietly with while I am just there to help absorb the shock of what happened to her.

But I am tired.  Christmas is coming soon, and only my tree is up with no decorations.  I feel too emotionally tired to "do Christmas" his year.  Deaths and funerals have been my background music, not carols.  I grieve.

I guess that is what Christmas is really about -hope.  That hope that allows us to sing at a funeral.  It isn't about my list of Christmas cookies I wanted to do or about even getting the village decorations set up.... it is about Christ coming into our pain because He was sick of death winning, too.

We see dimly now....