Friday, March 4, 2011

Perhaps Now?

Do you ever feel like quitting?  Just giving up and walking way? 

I've sort of felt that way for awhile.  Work is going pretty great - just not what I do.  I have really only one job.  I do a lot of other things, but those are just filling holes.  If something is needed, and I can do it, I do.  But I have one project that is "mine".  I am responsible for it.

I worked hard for two years on this.  I took what was given to us that did not work for our country and worked to make it appropriate.  It was designed for women, and I was excited about it.  I poured my heart into it for two years and got it ready to begin. 

That was when the problems started.  It was handed over to a man who was supposed to coordinate getting it done.  We were ready to go with it.

He did not like it.

There was no real reason.  He just didn't like it, and he dragged his feet.  No one was willing to force him and he was not willing to change his mind. 

All my work sat.  For two years.  I was discouraged.  Began questioning everything I did.  Was there any point?  Maybe I just didn't know how to do anything?  Maybe I should set down the burden on my heart and stick to teaching little kids to read and making meals.

I just quit.  There was no point working more on this project, even though people were asking me to for other countries.  My heart was just sad.

But this year brought new hope.  The work has been given to someone else - completely out of the influence of the first man.  I did not hold my breath, but I did go over the plans again and wrote a new instruction letter.

Today came back the comments from this man and his wife.  They like it, and are working with it.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but a quiet hope is growing.  Perhaps this will start up again. Perhaps now?

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Girl, I hope you fly!

I, too, am waiting for something with baited breath. Waiting is hard. Not getting your hopes up is hard. But, quitting is easy. I know; I do it every day ;)