Breaking My Silence

 There is a time to break the silence.  To speak things as they are.  To face truth.

That time comes often before we are ready to admit it is here, but it still comes, standing quietly until we acknowledge its existence.

First we have to speak the truth to ourselves.  An intimidating task.  To face what is, to call it by its real name, to deal with the stigma.  To deal with the emotions and shame of it.  

Then we have to speak the truth to others.  And few will believe it.  They will say they do, but their actions belie that.  They believe a lesser truth, one easier to believe.  And while you struggle to face the truth, their hesitation to believe will be deeply wounding.  Because it comes across as accusations.

And you've faced far too many of those.

The choice is then to retreat back into silence or continue to speak.  To speak the truth of what is.

There is a time to speak.  A time to be silent and a time to speak. Ecc 3:7

That time has come.  To tell my story.  To face the label of what it is.  

And yet, I stand, like I did on the early mornings beside the cold pool before my swimming lessons, shivering.  Afraid to jump. 

But when I took that jump, I learned to swim.  And it is time for learning that I will not sink, but I will learn to swim.

It's time.